to being yourself in medical school

Yes, I have always dreamed of being a physician, since I was a little girl. And I worked hard to get to where I am- half way through third year of medical school, preparing for my second shelf exam and currently working the night shift.

But there was a whole other part of my heart that wanted to find a partner in life and one day have a family. So here I am, also working hard to plan my wedding that is a mere 6 weeks away- two weeks after my surgical core rotation ends.

Yes, I can do both!

People often assume when you choose medicine, you forgo the rest of life AKA relationships, friendships, traveling, having a family and attending important events. That’s a fair assumption and it is partly true. And up until I met Denzel, I had accepted that fact that the only roles I would play for the next several years of my life were “medical student” and then “doctor”.


“You can’t have a serious relationship in medical school, it would be distracting.”

“How could you plan a wedding right now, you should focus on studying.”

“You should wait til after you graduate to get married and have a family.”


I have heard it over and over again. I have heard it worded many different ways. More often than not I hear it from colleagues in medicine. I have even heard it from my clinical advisors who have “advised” me to put off my wedding and definitely never consider having a family during clinical years. For some reason, the belief is that if you choose medicine you cannot choose anything else.

I refuse to be confined to that belief.

I think it is very unhealthy to deny yourself happiness, whatever that may mean to you. It is so important to keep your mind and soul at peace if you want to be there for someone during their time of weakness or illness as you do in the medical field. And to be frank, since I started allowing myself happiness outside of medicine, my performance in medicine improved. I am more focused, more confident in myself, and more decisive.

So I am going to keep doing question blocks and wedding planning in between. I am going to continue being known as “medical student”. And on my way to being known as “doctor” I will step into the role as “wife”.

Don’t limit yourself because of other people’s opinions. Your happiness can be made up of medicine and lots of other things too!

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